Let’s talk about my signature dish: toast.

Not the fancy artisanal kind – we’re talking about the “is it burned or just well-done?” variety.

While others perfect their grandma’s secret recipes, I’ve mastered the art of scraping burnt corners with a butter knife.

It’s like a daily adventure – will today’s slice be golden brown or trigger the smoke alarm?

My specialty? Creating toast that’s mysteriously dark on one side and pale on the other.

It’s not incompetence – it’s artistic expression!

Sure, some people brag about their homemade sourdough. But can they achieve the perfect level of “almost burned but still edible” like I can? I think not.

It’s honest work, making toast. No pretense, no fancy ingredients – just bread, heat, and a whole lot of optimism.

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